You've Been Typed

Oh, Hipster Couple, you never saw me coming. Standing behind you at the Wegman's checkout, I never really gave you a chance, did I? I could have said nothing. But Boyfriend had the Brady Bunch striped shirt, red bowling shoes, 70s sideburns and intentionally messed-up hair; and Girlfriend had the short-cropped Mia Farrow hair, combed neatly so as not to look dykey, and the requisite thick-rimmed nerd glasses. I asked, "You in the P====cs Program?" and as you stared at me in horror ("How did he know?"), I paid for my groceries calmly, trying not lose it. Look, I know you are both smart, and probably really nice people that I'd hang out with givn the right circumstances. But try not to be so... cult-like. You stick out like the couple in the KFC commercial in which the girl on the phone signals to her boyfriend in sign language that she wants the whole damn bowl of potatoes, corn, and gravy. Only its not KFC prouct that's being cranked out, but you.

YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU
YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU
YOU YOU YOU and YOU YOU
YOU YOU YOU and YOU YOU
YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU