Riddle Me This!

One day someone asked me if I'd eat raw hamburger off of Zooey Deschanel and I seriously considered it. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. The other day, I found out that M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, The Happening, will star her. Oh no. Now the riddle has come true! What do I do? I could stare endlessly at this hip girl-next-door beauty, but ever since Lady in the Water, I'm worried that the narrative will be simply painful and unwatchable, not good-bad, but bad-bad.

In related "Night News," I would like you all to read a hilarious group of flamers debate Night's tendency to rip off older texts. (If link doesn't work, go to his imdb page, click threads, and scroll down to the "which Twilight Zone/Outer Limits will he rip off next?" discussion.

UPDATE 1/17--OKAY: COPIED AND PASTED BELOW:

Board: M. Night Shyamalan

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which Twilight Zone/Outer Limits episode will he rip off next?
by frankduxvandamme (Fri Nov 23 2007 15:18:05)
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hmm...
Re: which Twilight Zone/Outer Limits episode will he rip off next?
by In_Excess (Fri Nov 23 2007 19:39:46)
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Which ones has he ripped off before? Hmmmm, NONE.
Re: which Twilight Zone/Outer Limits episode will he rip off next?
by frankduxvandamme (Sat Nov 24 2007 17:20:28)
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Which ones has he ripped off before? Hmmmm, NONE.


the sixth sense.

there were at least 5 episodes of TZ where the main character was dead and didnt know it. then the big twist at the end of the episode was the character realizing he or she was dead the entire time.

The Village.

there were several episodes of both the TZ and the new Outer Limits involving the isolation of a community not aware of their own isolation, until the end.
Re: which Twilight Zone/Outer Limits episode will he rip off next?
by RequiemForADyingPlanet (Sat Nov 24 2007 20:40:19)
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Shyamalan fans refuse to acknowledge that their messiah is a plagiarist.

By giving factual examples you force them to resort to denial (which they will, mark my words).
Re: which Twilight Zone/Outer Limits episode will he rip off next?
by In_Excess (Mon Nov 26 2007 06:29:42)
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UPDATED Mon Nov 26 2007 06:31:05

the sixth sense.

there were at least 5 episodes of TZ where the main character was dead and didnt know it. then the big twist at the end of the episode was the character realizing he or she was dead the entire time.

The Village.

there were several episodes of both the TZ and the new Outer Limits involving the isolation of a community not aware of their own isolation, until the end.


You have never seen an episode of TZ before have you? Direct me to the EXACT EPISODES in which you claim Night ripped off. Otherwise, I do not believe it. I want you to prove these ridiculous allegations, especially the "at least 5" and "several episodes." Also, if Night rips those off, pretty much EVERY twist movie ever made ripped off TZ as well. The Others, Fight Club, Usual Suspects, Jacob's Ladder, etc. I'd like you to point out a twist film where the twist hadn't been done in SOME way in the past. There is nothing completely original left, at least as far as the twists are concerned.
Re: which Twilight Zone/Outer Limits episode will he rip off next?
by RequiemForADyingPlanet (Mon Nov 26 2007 06:58:04)
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UPDATED Mon Nov 26 2007 06:58:47
Here are some examples of TZ episodes Shyamalan ripped off:


The Passerby - 10/6/61

A Confederate soldier rests with a weary woman waiting for her husband to return from battle. They realize they're dead along with the many soldiers walking down the road towards the afterlife.



The Hitch-Hiker - 1/22/60

A woman traveling across the country, keeps encountering the same mysterious hitch-hiker everwhere she goes. She later finds out that she had died on the trip and he's the Angel of Death.


He even stole his idea for LITW


The Bewitchin' Pool - 6/19/64

Two children escape through a magical portal in their pool, into a peaceful world for children.


Looks like In_Excess has to eat his words....AGAIN!




Re: which Twilight Zone/Outer Limits episode will he rip off next?
by In_Excess (Mon Nov 26 2007 12:56:15)
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UPDATED Mon Nov 26 2007 12:57:52
Looks like In_Excess has to eat his words....AGAIN!


You are an idiot. That is not "proof" of anything. In fact, anyone will be hard pressed to prove that Night ripped off any episode of TZ. What you have is two episodes where people realize they have been dead all along, so what? How does that BROAD realization prove that Night ripped off TZ? For all you know Rod Serling ripped off other sources for those episodes. I'm certain that Serling wasn't the first person on Earth to come up with the concept of someone realizing they were dead all along. Also, again, if that is enough "proof" for you to label Night as a plagiarist, you shouldn't have a problem labeling 90% of the filmmakers out there plagiarists as well.

Your last Bewitchin' Pool example is supposed to prove what exactly? Oh no, Lady in the Water has a pool that a Narf uses to live in, must be a rip of TZ!!! Yours and the OP's assertions are completely ludicrous. Again, you cannot take broad areas of a plot and say that it was ripped off. They are general enough to be mere coincidences. It's like saying Star Wars ripped off 2001 because they both took place in outer space. The only "rip off" criticism I am willing to entertain is the Running Out of Time v. The Village, which at least has some SPECIFIC detail that overlaps. Try again Jeremey.
Re: which Twilight Zone/Outer Limits episode will he rip off next?
by RequiemForADyingPlanet (Mon Nov 26 2007 13:53:18)
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I guess writing bogus posts defending your director keeps your mind off the fact that you still have to eat your words. I gave proof. You couldn't handle that, your angry rant proves it.

Hopefully your next attempt isn't as pitiful.

How do those words taste, "moron"?
Re: which Twilight Zone/Outer Limits episode will he rip off next?
by In_Excess (Mon Nov 26 2007 16:08:34)
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I guess writing bogus posts defending your director keeps your mind off the fact that you still have to eat your words. I gave proof. You couldn't handle that, your angry rant proves it.

Hopefully your next attempt isn't as pitiful.

How do those words taste, "moron"?


Just when I thought Jeremey couldn't get any more stupid, he gives us this classic post. Go look up the definition of "proof" before shooting your mouth of again idiot. I can't believe I have to explain these things to you. Again, when I asked for PROOF I asked for CONCRETE evidence to defend your moronic assertions. What you have provided as your "proof" is not even close to that. Your idiocy continues to astound me Jeremey.
Re: which Twilight Zone/Outer Limits episode will he rip off next?
by RequiemForADyingPlanet (Mon Nov 26 2007 19:47:10)
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What more concrete evidence do you want? I gave CLEAR EXAMPLES of TZ stories that MIRRORED Shyamalan films.

Of course, you're probably holding out for an audio recording of Shyamalan admitting his guilt. If that's the proof your holding out for, keep holding your breath.

Your redundant circular logic is amusing. I'm sure it gets you through the day.


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Lady in the Water

Shyamalan's latest film essentially reduces the "true meaning" of storytelling to spiritual fundamentalism. A fundamentalist requires belief in a self-enclosed, ahistorical, rootless, system of signs, all of which point to each other.

The film's plot line "invents" its own mythology, but by using parataxis as a methodology: like when 6-year olds tell you about their entire day, each event equal in meaning ("I ate some ice cream, and then there was a dragon, when I fell down, but Janie has a blue hat!" Nothing in this film has any symbol that we might match up to one that we already know from the vast vat of cultural capital. No, Shyamalan, says, "It's MY story. It bears NO resemblance to anything, ever." Well, fine, then I won't try to match your ferocious creatures with any of the one's I already know; I won't try to compare your "Interpreter" character with any other kind of interpreter (there are so many!).

It's like when you tell a kid who thinks he invented the wheel that others have already done it, and the kid says, "No, it's MY wheel. It's a Shyamalan-Wheel. No, it's not even called a wheel, it's a Porchumztzkrpl!" And since he kills of the critic-character, who dies after having reviewed several cliches about people who die in movies, we know that Shyamalan's real beast, his worst enemy, is All Critics and Naysayers Who Don't Believe.

It's as if he's been waiting his whole life to make this film, but first he had to trick people by making blockbusters that followed narrative rules and had interesting twists like a decent pulp mystery novel does. "Fooled ya! I was just giving people what they wanted: moderate entertainment with heartwarming messages of facile transcedence. What I really want is to vocalize my personal fears that if I don't get to make the REAL movie I want, that if no one likes it, that they really want to Kill me. Critics don't believe. They're out to get me! Please believe in me. Or I'll die. All good storytellling will die. You just don't understand. It doesn't have to make sense to YOU. This is MY GOD, the God no one understands until they take some time out to get to know Him...I mean Her, and Her name is Story. And she's stares at you from the floor of the shower, huddles in the corner. How can you not want to help her, I mean beleive in me, I mean her."

Fundamentalist New Age Baby Boomer Crap, this one.