Saturday, December 23, 2006

Flow Chart of Blame

This holiday season, as I sit next to my fake log fireplace, tipsy on Scotch, I reflect back on all those whom I despise. Whom to blame for my troubles? The carollers outside? Yes! Now that I own my own plot of land, I can send them to my side door and then spring out of my shed with an axe! I will stack their chopped limbs by my fake logs fireplace and slowly burn them to a Kris Kringle Krisp! Did you know an appendage keeps you house warm for a full two hours? Me neither! But Christmas is the season for giving. And for taking. Carollers' lives. Mmmmm....scotch and roast cheer....

3 comments:

Bourbon Enthusiast Monthly said...

Whoah, whoah, WHOAH DUDE. Nice new camera and all, but no one wants to see a face that big and that close-up.

Also, playing the part of Dr. Loomis in Rob Zombie's "Halloween" remake is....








Malcom McDowell.

queercat said...

Unless, of course, it's Matt's giant moon face. Then, we should all stop and admire. I'm not sure if you got the memo, but the rules are different for him, y'know.

Bourbon Enthusiast Monthly said...

HA! Got me!