Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
True Haiku from These Hallowed Halls and Adjoining Lunchroom
Colleague Laid Bacon
Across Her Garden Burger
I Watched in Horror
Across Her Garden Burger
I Watched in Horror
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Underneath Every Hippie is a Psycho
John Popper of Blues Traveler was arrested for speeding (111) and according to Yahoo News, "Inside the black Mercedes SUV, officers found a cache of weapons and a small amount of marijuana...A police dog searched the vehicle, finding numerous hidden compartments containing four rifles, nine handguns and a switchblade knife. Authorities also found a Taser and night vision goggles."
I had to endure years of my so-called friends telling me that Blues Traveler and Spin Doctors, etc. were somehow a continuation of hippie music and thought. Both bands were so obviously bland bar-bands. The only new hippie band was Phish, who, no matter if you liked them or not, had a clear sense of roots and influences: look at how many older musicians deigned to join them on stage. I never made fun of Popper's weight, and his harmonica playing is phenomenal (even though I don't like it--one still must admit skill), but I always knew that this band had nothing in common with hippies.
I sound as if I'm trying to argue for authenticity, of "true" hippies. Well, in a way, I am. Popper and Hitler Fudd are both examples of hypocritical redneck assholes who would get along better with Ted Nugent than with Martin Luther King, Jr. The rest of the hippies liked to party and talk about how the "ocean water makes love to the sand" and how "you're over there and I'm over here, but we're not separate, you know?" But there were some who moved beyond the "Like Father Like Son Like Hell" mindset and criticisized the social institution of marriage (beyond the misnomer "free love"), the practice of war, etc. I don't know who they are, and I don't know what they did, but I know they existed. In 1967 I would have been one of them. When The Doors were banned from Woodstock for being too "dark" for flower power, I would have ripped up my ticket. Eventually I would have become a punk, I guess.
I love that the real world and the world of TV and video games are so completely separate for me. Fuck Baudrillard. In Grand Theft Auto I blow suckas faces off. In the real world, I do not even own a gun or care to shoot one or hide one in my secret "weed compartment." Dumbass.
I had to endure years of my so-called friends telling me that Blues Traveler and Spin Doctors, etc. were somehow a continuation of hippie music and thought. Both bands were so obviously bland bar-bands. The only new hippie band was Phish, who, no matter if you liked them or not, had a clear sense of roots and influences: look at how many older musicians deigned to join them on stage. I never made fun of Popper's weight, and his harmonica playing is phenomenal (even though I don't like it--one still must admit skill), but I always knew that this band had nothing in common with hippies.
I sound as if I'm trying to argue for authenticity, of "true" hippies. Well, in a way, I am. Popper and Hitler Fudd are both examples of hypocritical redneck assholes who would get along better with Ted Nugent than with Martin Luther King, Jr. The rest of the hippies liked to party and talk about how the "ocean water makes love to the sand" and how "you're over there and I'm over here, but we're not separate, you know?" But there were some who moved beyond the "Like Father Like Son Like Hell" mindset and criticisized the social institution of marriage (beyond the misnomer "free love"), the practice of war, etc. I don't know who they are, and I don't know what they did, but I know they existed. In 1967 I would have been one of them. When The Doors were banned from Woodstock for being too "dark" for flower power, I would have ripped up my ticket. Eventually I would have become a punk, I guess.
I love that the real world and the world of TV and video games are so completely separate for me. Fuck Baudrillard. In Grand Theft Auto I blow suckas faces off. In the real world, I do not even own a gun or care to shoot one or hide one in my secret "weed compartment." Dumbass.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Sunday, March 4, 2007
James Cameron--Master Satirist!
Is it possible that James Cameron's new documentary, The Jesus Tomb, has outdone his other biting criticisms of people of faith?
The Jesus Tomb is supposed to offer evidence about the legendary Do-Gooder's final resting place. I also understand that many archaeologists refute Cameron's "science." He's played them right into his hands!
He has planned this all along, and, perhaps, all of his other movies were leading up to this. Lets not get involved in the details of whether there is or is not truth in the documentary. Let's look at all how the Christian Right is going ape-shit!!!! All over Fox News, Scarborough County, and other shows, they are having to do all over again what Dan Brown made them do: hold special "rap" sessions with kids so that they're minds aren't infiltrated, bang their fists on the Bible as if it didn't itself have a hsitory of compilation, and generally act sore about how offensive it is to even question their metanarrative.
Granted, Cameron wants to make a lot of dough. A lot. Good! That's exactly what televangelists have been doing all along. And if even more deluded Christians want to believe that the tomb is actually some place else, let them fight over X marks the spot. Either way it makes Aliens, The Abyss, and Titanic look like satirical masterpeices!
Aliens--when Ripley frees the cocooned little kid, Newt (Jesus), and defeats the Queen (Whore of Babylon) with a forklift and an airlock, we see how easy it will be for Good to win over Evil--in Christians' dreams!
The Abyss--when Bud's touching message to his wife is interpreted by the aliens as a reason not to destroy humanity, we realize that the members of Deep Core are in fact inside Extremely Shallow, as in a certain belief system that reckons it is responsible for saving the whole world with mere words. What an excellent send-up!
Titanic--drifting along in the icy water, Rose wakes up to find that Jack is...dead! Ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!!!!!!!! Made even more ascerbic by the over-the-toop Celine Dion song, its lyrics of false hope soaring high, only to crash land into the waters of silence, the film warmed the cockles of my heart. As will Jesus Tomb, the next installment of Cameron's epic series: Fools Love Redemption.
The Jesus Tomb is supposed to offer evidence about the legendary Do-Gooder's final resting place. I also understand that many archaeologists refute Cameron's "science." He's played them right into his hands!
He has planned this all along, and, perhaps, all of his other movies were leading up to this. Lets not get involved in the details of whether there is or is not truth in the documentary. Let's look at all how the Christian Right is going ape-shit!!!! All over Fox News, Scarborough County, and other shows, they are having to do all over again what Dan Brown made them do: hold special "rap" sessions with kids so that they're minds aren't infiltrated, bang their fists on the Bible as if it didn't itself have a hsitory of compilation, and generally act sore about how offensive it is to even question their metanarrative.
Granted, Cameron wants to make a lot of dough. A lot. Good! That's exactly what televangelists have been doing all along. And if even more deluded Christians want to believe that the tomb is actually some place else, let them fight over X marks the spot. Either way it makes Aliens, The Abyss, and Titanic look like satirical masterpeices!
Aliens--when Ripley frees the cocooned little kid, Newt (Jesus), and defeats the Queen (Whore of Babylon) with a forklift and an airlock, we see how easy it will be for Good to win over Evil--in Christians' dreams!
The Abyss--when Bud's touching message to his wife is interpreted by the aliens as a reason not to destroy humanity, we realize that the members of Deep Core are in fact inside Extremely Shallow, as in a certain belief system that reckons it is responsible for saving the whole world with mere words. What an excellent send-up!
Titanic--drifting along in the icy water, Rose wakes up to find that Jack is...dead! Ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!!!!!!!! Made even more ascerbic by the over-the-toop Celine Dion song, its lyrics of false hope soaring high, only to crash land into the waters of silence, the film warmed the cockles of my heart. As will Jesus Tomb, the next installment of Cameron's epic series: Fools Love Redemption.
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