Sunday, September 2, 2007

Get Outta My Way!

To the twenty-year old dude in Wegman's who thought it'd be "fun" to drive a shopping scooter around just because it's midnight: soon you will be obese as fuck and it'll be me, not your silly-ass scooter in the bulk isle that makes backing-up beep noises as you fall into your fucking fat-lubricated grave (XXXLarge!).




To the lady driving the red sedan (licence plate NY DEW 5748), you're not fooling anyone by driving sloooooooooowly and howeeeeeeeeever you liiiiiiike. I see the Handicapped badge on your rear-view mirror and you probably ARE officially handicapped--what lardass isn't? But you obviously went to Home Depot, bought STICKERS and pasted "S-T-U-D-E-N-T-D-R-I-V-E-R" on your rear bumber--poorly, and with no attempt to appear like a legit driving school vehicle.



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1 comment:

asenath said...

I love the vision of you yelling "beep! beep!" as some poor asshole backs away from the anger visible on your gingery face. "Beep! Beep!" I'll try to hang on to that one today when I'm attempting to teach Daisy Miller (attempting being, obviously, the operative word). *still chuckling*

September 5, 2007 at 5:38 AM

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